Every day, staffing specialists around the world are being handed fake IDs.¬† Some people are trying to hide from their criminal past, others are not legally allowed to work in this country.
Whatever the reason, the people making these fake IDs have various levels of skill and intelligence.
Have you ever wanted to make a fake ID so terrible¬†it wouldn't even get you into underage club?¬† Follow the guidelines below!
1.) Be famous.
So what if you're the daughter of The President of the United States?¬† No one knows who you are!¬† There is no way a¬†cop would ever recognize the First Daughter!
2.) Use a weird first name, like "E-mail".
Mr. Suarez tried to think of the most American name he could come up with.¬† Unfortunately for him, "E-mail" is not a name we use too commonly in America.¬† We do more normal things like name our children after sports networks.
3.) Do not use a last name.
Madonna, Prince, Beyonce and you. If you're famous enough, you don't need a last name on¬†your driver's license.¬† And surely, you are famous enough.
4.) Use a picture with your girlfriend in it.
Nothing says "I'm not a loser" like having your girlfriend pose in your DL picture with you.¬† Winners do it all the time.
5.) Mimic your favorite television show characters.
James Bond was a CMG.¬† Why can't you be one too?
6.) Buy your fake ID from an ad on the back of a CREEM Magazine.
For $14.99 plus shipping and handling you too can have a fake ID created that is guaranteed to make any staffing specialist's gut split laughing.¬† Just remember to include a Polaroid of yourself so they can glue it on nice and crooked!
7.) Sloppily glue your picture over top of the issue date.
Boy, the BMV sure is sloppy these days.¬† Make sure you mimic this sloppiness by glueing your picture over top of some of the printed text.¬† It's all about the little details!
8.) Use placeholder names whenever possible.
Names like John Q. Public, John and Jane Doe, John Roe and Joe Blow all qualify as perfect names to use when trying to make an unusable fake ID.¬† No one will be able to believe that's your real name!