We love it when staffers send us their feel-good
stories and industry gripes, but there’s something to be said for the ridiculous mishaps that only people in staffing can truly appreciate. I’m happy to report that earlier this week a staffing consultant sent us the following email, and for obvious reasons would like to keep their name and business anonymous.

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I’ve been in the staffing industry for many years, and
so I’ve heard some unique call-in excuses. Hospitalized relatives, dead pets, car problems, court dates, and kids in need are child’s play compared to some of the things I’ve heard.

Because I’ve heard so many, recently I decided to award $5 to any distressed employee who comes up with a truly one-of-a-kind excuse. Here are the four that have not only qualified for $5, but who actually made me struggle getting through the phone conversation without falling out of my chair in laughter.

1) I fielded a call from the “sick” employee’s Meema, who proceeded to tell me he was “down in the gut” and would not be at work today. “Poor thing,” she says, “I thought I got all of the weevils out of his bowl of rice,  but I’m getting on in my years and my eyesight is not too good anymore. But I’m sure he’ll feel good enough to be in tomorrow.”

2) I called an applicant with a job offer and, after accepting, he says, “I’ll just need to leave for about 15 minutes at 10, 12, 2, and 4.” Caught off guard, I respond, “Ummmm … No. We can’t have you doing that. Out of curiosity, why do you need to?” He immediately responds, “I just got a new puppy and I’m in the middle of potty training, so I need to let him outside.”

3) I receive a call from a placed employee, who right away sounded very agitated. “I won’t be able to go to work today,” he said. I asked, “Why?” “Because I don’t have anything to put my lunch in.”

4) “I can’t go to work today,” the final $5 excuse employee says. After I ask why, he comes back with, “My rims got repo'd off my moped last night ... and I got no way to work!"

I’m sure I’m not alone in hearing these kinds of ridiculous excuses, and I’d love to read others people like me have had.

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So would we!

Tags: Business, True Staffing Stories, Excuses